It is no secret by now, your girl is single out here and the pickings seem to be slim. As if dating at the age of 32 in Atlanta wasn’t hard enough lets add on a chronic illness. If I had a dating profile it would be filled with so much sarcasm it would be oozing from the screen; yes I said oozing. It would probably read something like this:
Danie is a true empath that tends to fall for just about anyone with a heart that shows a glimpse of humanity. You can be sure to have endless laughs with this one along with plenty of messages left on read. She has the energy of an unhealthy 69 year old woman on her worse days but if you catch her on a good one; she is hands down the life of the party. Her sarcasm is often tolerated and used to cover up her awkwardness when it comes down to her Crohns’ disease. You guessed it; pretty girls do indeed poop!
The fact that I chuckled a little while writing this truly shows my dark humor towards the challenges that are very much real for me in the dating game. My biggest problem right now is meeting men that actually are not stuck on their own problems to the degree where they don’t have an ounce of grace for my own. I think the idea that my illness is invisible to everyone but my intestines is primarily to blame. What do they see when they see me? Typically, on Instagram and in real life they see a what I have been told attractive person, very curvy even at my smallest and largest weight, full of life and jokes. They see someone living her best life in Atlanta, attending Hawks games that are rows away from court-side. They see a girl that goes to work and loves a good a selfie with snapchat filter. Here is what they don’t see: they don’t see I barely want to wake up in the morning, my medical bills stress me all the way out, I have had way too many colonoscopies to count, my stomach is swollen, my joints hurt and the slightest noise gets on my last nerve.
The lack of sympathy and grace I have been extended while dating has pretty much been slim to none. The last relationship I had was with someone who actually made sure I was okay, made sure I ate and checked on me if I said I wasn’t feeling well. That was when I fell in love and ever since, he has been benchmark bae. Recently, however my patience has been thin with those who are attempting to seek attention from me. The worse thing you can do is to send a list of request to someone in pain. I find it interesting that those who expect grace from others tend to not give any.
Here is what I don’t want; I don’t want anyone to feel bad for me! I simply want grace and understanding when times get tough and a flare up is on the horizon. Dont ask me for things you know I can’t deliver during these times. Lets try being selfless instead of selfish. In fact, be more like me at least during a flare up. Treat me like I treat you on a daily basis and we just may have a chance. I don’t need to be babied but I also don’t want to be asked why my stomach is hurting. It is like doing speed dating with the same person over and over again every day. I am still sick, yes my stomach still hurts. Instead educate yourself and check on me occasionally.
Benchmark Bae raised the bar, blame him not me.