Dear Daughter,
There will be a time in your life when I may not answer your call when you need me the most, that time may be now. As your momma I have been through things you can’t even begin to imagine some of which I hope you never find out. I know for sure though my life can be a lesson for you or at least a heads up for situations that may arise.
I have cried many days for reasons I am unable to explain. Depression resides in the corner of my brain like a roommate that never signed the lease. Occupying every moment I have, stealing any joy that ever tried to sneak it’s way in. It became the guest that didn’t know how to leave. It got so bad that I never thought I would see you or be your mom. All my thoughts led to leaving any future behind and just basking in my misery. I ask that if it ever knocks on your door, remind yourself you are enough no matter what the situation is and that every pain you feel is temporary. Breath deep and slow, rest your hands on your heart and stomach. Feel yourself breathing and be grateful for the rise and fall in every breath.
I have cried many days over boys and men. Love was a roommate I always invited in. It was the Cancer in me that wanted to love everything that walked through the door no matter how wrong they were for me. I ask that when you fall in love, do it freely and for the moment. I want you to feel every emotion whether good or bad so you know what to ask for the next time it comes knocking on your door. I need you to be free to fall but also be free to be you and strong. Strength is often looked down upon but that same strength is how I became your momma. Strength is the only thing that can birth a person, build a person up and hold them together. Be confident in your skin and know that you have the power to demand respect from anyone that you decide to love. Don’t allow boys to dictate who you are. Never allow a man to treat you less than no matter how secure his arms or pocket may make you feel. People are temporary but your spirit and whatever faith you have chosen is forever. Take a moment to write positive affirmations about yourself and read them every morning, put on an entire armor like you are going to war everyday. Words will always be our weapon of choice and although love can fill us up it can also tear us down. I need you to fill your spirit with words that are powerful so that when spiritual warfares arise you will be prepared to take on even your biggest enemy....and since you are mine I suspect at times the biggest enemy is yourself and your thoughts.
Trust me when I say you are not alone in this and although it may seem like I have left you, I am here with you every step of the way.
Danie